Rest is Not a Location

Rest is not a location. Rest is a relationship with God.
Let that sink in.
People chase vacations because they need rest. I love vacations. There are many great pros about vacations, but rarely does anyone return rested I’ve found. Then, normally, people immediately start talking about when their next vacation is. Even on vacation, one rarley truly gets rest. Sure, you get a break from reality and get to do fun things compared to work… but rest??

I once had a friend post that she had tried very hard to make her home a place she wanted to go to, instead of run from – and it has always stuck with me. Do I feel that way about my home and life? Am I content with where God has me? Am I always filling the God sized hole with more things to do, making me even more tired?

You will find scripture saying God has called people to rest His way… and the people wanted none of it. Our society today places an awful lot of worth in being busy and vacations… but not much on rest. We don’t have time. I know I have been guilty of it. However, when we create moments throughout our day with  intentionality, we will find more peace than any vacation can give us. Also, I believe it is important to take one day of the week and cease from activity. I don’t mean living for the weekend. I mean taking a day to stop and be intentional about focusing on the one who gives rest to our souls and physically rest our bodies. Which is hard to do when running around…either “playing” or  (I’m going to ruffle some feathers here) even with a ton of service activities at church.

I’m not saying we should be lazy or not serve others. Jesus didn’t do that. However, God created us to need rest, and if we are only finding it when we go away, we are doing it wrong. I love the fact that through God, I can find rest right wherever He has me!  Even if my job is demanding. Even if family isn’t getting along. Even if the kids are just overwhelming. Rest is not found in a place or my circumstances. 

I am made to need rest every single day. When I only get it when I’m on vacation, that would be like my body needing sleep and only getting it once a week…or month. Just yesterday, we learned in school that you can survive a lot longer without food than sleep. There comes the point that your body shuts down. It needs time to rejuvenate your cells, and without sleep, it can’t. Yes, life gets crazy. It did for Jesus, too… but he still made a point to rest in The Father. He knew the limits of his physical body. He also knew his soul had a limit without rest as well, and He knew the strength he would find in his Father. I feel like some of us may get the physical rest part (our bodies and health eventually make us), but very few of us get spiritual rest. God showed us the pattern of what we needed when He rested on the 7th day after creation. I figure if Jesus as a human needed it…I need it twice as much. And have you ever noticed where Jesus rested? Often in the desert, in a ship during a storm, and a garden. His location didn’t matter. I take great comfort in the fact that if Jesus can rest in deserts and storms, so can I when I focus on God like he did.

‭Psalm‬ ‭116:7‭-‬8‬
[7] Return unto thy rest, O my soul; For the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee. [8] For thou hast delivered my soul from death, Mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

‭Isaiah‬ ‭30:15‬
[15] For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.

‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:29‭-‬31‬
[29] He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. [30] Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: [31] but they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

What Hurting People Need

Sometimes I have trouble remembering that just because something was easy for me doesn’t mean it was for you. Or vice versa. Take for instance my miscarriage. It might not seem as bad as the death of a full grown child, but when I was going through it, it was to me. I know lots of women who have had miscarriages and it didn’t seem to bother them much. For me, however, it took a year and another baby to feel like I was healing. 

No matter someone’s trial, whether it’s something like cancer, a death, a breakup, job loss, sickness, a wayward child, etc., there are some things they don’t need to hear while they are going through hardship.

1. Get over it.
2. How fast you got over it.

They need a listening ear. Someone who sympathizes. Someone who encourages them. They need to know that someone is bringing them before the throne of grace.

When someone is hurting they need someone to see their need and try to help meet it. Maybe it’s mowing a lawn for someone who is sick. Making a meal for a family whose husband just lost a job. Picking strawberries for a friend whose husband has cancer. Remembering hard dates for someone who has lost someone dear to them and sending them flowers.

When someone is grieving they need you to cry with them, allow them to talk, give them a hug, to remember that certain days may be extra hard (and not just the first year). They need a listening ear,  but mostly they need the freedom to process their grief without guilt. They need you to give them time and not rush them. Everyone grieves differently and needs the freedom to do so. And side note, they don’t really want to hear at that moment that God has a plan for it all. They know that. However, while going through it, hearing that statement can feel like salt on a wound until given a little time.

When I miscarried, a friend who had also gone through a miscarriage gave me a necklace in honor of my baby with the first initial of its name and a little bottle to represent the verse about God bottling my tears. I still wear the necklace often and it’s been 7 years since I miscarried. When I lost my grandmother one of my best friends gave me windchimes. She knew I loved windchimes and wanted me to have something lasting that would make me think of my grandmother in a good way.  

When my husband had shoulder surgery I’ll never forget that first week when people brought us meals, groceries (because I couldn’t leave him for more than 10 minutes those first few days), and even bags of goodies. Did it bother me to need to rely on other people? Sure, but my husband needed me more than my pride needed to say no.

When my second born was born and spent 3 unexpected weeks in the NICU the way people loved on us and sent us gift cards and money for gas and food was so humbling. In fact, a Sunday School class full of people we had never met sent us a $100 gas card. I’ve never forgotten that. I felt so loved and taken care of by my God through all the people.

Kindness. It goes a long way as acting as the body of Christ.

That being said, if you have a legitimate need, please let others help you. So many times I have felt lead to offer help to someone who really needed it, and yet they turned me down. 

 My husband is not a fan of receiving help even though he is often the first to offer someone else help. However, he once had a good friend tell him that he needed to be gracious and sometimes let people help because if he didn’t he was robbing that person of a blessing. If you have trouble in this area can I give you the same piece of advice? Don’t rob people of a blessing. Allow people to show appreciation in some small way if you have done something nice for them in the past. Most people do not feel comfortable just being on the receiving end.

I Peter 1:22 says we are to fervently love each other. People who are hurting and need help are all around us. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming we think if we care about one we have to care about them all. I don’t think that is the case. That’s God’s job. Our job is to ask Him who he wants us to serve and comfort, to be aware of the needs around us, and then to follow His leading.

The Difference

And Annas the high priest, and Caiaphas, and John, and Alexander, and as many as were of the kindred of the high priest, were gathered together at Jerusalem. And when they had set them in the midst, they asked, By what power, or by what name, have ye done this? ………
Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus. And beholding the man which was healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it. ………
For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.
So when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding nothing how they might punish them, because of the people: for all men glorified God for that which was done. Acts 4:6‭-‬7‭, ‬13‭-‬14‭, ‬20‭-‬21

I know this is a long passage, but it is one I have been pondering the past few days. I read through the gospels recently and just got through watching every one of these men:
1. Be afraid.
2. Run away.
3. Try to take their enemies down with swords.
4. Deny Christ.
5. Watch from afar (Christ be crucified).
6. Hide behind locked doors due to fear.
7. Not believe Christ was raised from the dead till they saw Him with their eyes.
8. Go back to fishing and their “comfort zone.”

9. Had crippling guilt for denying their Lord and not standing up for him.

However in the passage we see the SAME scared group of men going before the EXACT same council that they saw crucify Jesus.

So what happened between the end of the gospels and Acts?

Well Jesus proved beyond a shadow of a doubt to them He was who He said He was. He rose from the grave. He appeared to them. He made it clear He forgave them and they were to move forward. He gave clear commands of what they should do. Then He left them His Spirit. Instead of Jesus living BESIDE them, He now lived INSIDE them.

Jesus proves to us every day He is who He says He is. We can look to History, to the Bible, science, to Christians around us, and throughout time. We may not be able to see Jesus with our physical eyes like the disciples got to, but He still reveals himself all the time. He is God, and evidence of God is everywhere.

Jesus forgives us. He went to the cross just so we could be forgiven. We have to ask Him to, but just like for those who forsook Him at His greatest hour of pain, even though we caused His pain… He forgives us. He tells us once forgiven not to look back and press forward.

Our Lord has also left very clear commands in his Word of what to do. He has also left us His spirit once we ask Him to live in our hearts. We, too, have the same power and commands as the apostles.

I love the fact that the Bible clearly states the names of the Jewish leaders who lead the crucifixion of Jesus were the exact same ones the Apostles preached at with boldness. So much so that the Jewish leaders marveled. They recognized them. They knew they were just mere fishermen. Honestly, they were stupid in their eyes. However, these “unlearned” men schooled them.

I also love the fact that these same Jewish leaders who thought they “took down” Jesus (only because He let them) couldn’t touch the apostles. Yes, eventually, the apostles died for their faith, but not until God said it was their time. Only my God can do that. At first the Jewish leaders couldn’t figure out what the difference was.

And when they had brought them, they set them before the council: and the high priest asked them, Saying,

Did not we straitly command you that ye should not teach in this name? and, behold, ye have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine, and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us. Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom ye slew and hanged on a tree. Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins. And we are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him. When they heard that, they were cut to the heart, and took counsel to slay them. Then stood there up one in the council, a Pharisee, named Gamaliel, a doctor of the law, had in reputation among all the people, and commanded to put the apostles forth a little space; And said unto them, Ye men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what ye intend to do as touching these men. For before these days rose up Theudas, boasting himself to be somebody; to whom a number of men, about four hundred, joined themselves: who was slain; and all, as many as obeyed him, were scattered, and brought to nought. After this man rose up Judas of Galilee in the days of the taxing, and drew away much people after him: he also perished; and all, even as many as obeyed him, were dispersed. And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God. And to him they agreed: and when they had called the apostles, and beaten them, they commanded that they should not speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.
Acts 5:27‭-‬42

One Pharisee finally started to get it. The difference was God. Now, they still didn’t get that Jesus was God, and He had let them kill Him. However, they were beginning to get the clue God was on the side of these men they considered beneath themselves. It gives me great comfort that if he can use a bunch of fishermen who first failed, He can use me!

Are We Our Spouse’s Biggest Fan?

Recently I went on a trip to visit friends. Most did not know my husband and I noticed I talked about him – a lot. A lot more than around people who actually know him. I realized that after 19 years of marriage he is a huge part of my life. I don’t apologize for the fact that I think he is so great, even though society seems to think I should.

After watching different TV shows and reading different Facebook posts over the years, it never ceases to amaze me how proud my sex is to make fun of men. Like it is a badge of honor if you are better than your husband. Instead of being their spouse’s biggest fan, they berate them, emasculate them, and call them stupid. While our differences can be funny, it is never healthy to belittle someone, especially when they are our spouse. In fact, we should be our spouse’s biggest fan.

I have never thought I was better than my husband. Different? Yes. Equal in worth? Sure! However, I don’t want to be him. I think he is the best thing since sliced bread. In fact, my great admiration has gotten me in trouble a few times. I once told a man my husband ran a minute mile. Yes, I know now that means he would have run 60 miles an hour. I feel dumb now, but the guy was gracious and just laughed and shook his head, not at my husband, but at my well-meaning admiration. I also once told someone that he knew everything about guns. While he is very knowledgable, he quickly got onto me for saying he knew everything. When we first got married he played tackle football with friends and I often made the other girlfriends mad because of how much I cheered for my husband. The thing is, I believe he COULD be all those things. (Run a minute mile? No, not now, but still run fast.)

My husband also thinks the world of me, and I am grateful for that fact. He may be a little more reserved in his accolades, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t just as big a fan of me as I am of him. He makes a point to tell people sweet things about me in front of me. I never hear him say demeaning things about me to other people. (Stories about how my mouth gets me in trouble doesn’t count.)

Do we have our bad days? You bet. There are some days that instead of encouraging him I pick out all the things that I am NOT a fan of. When I do that though, I forget all the great things he IS good at. There was a season in our marriage when we both struggled greatly to find good things about each other. We had forgotten the good things and were only focusing on the things that bugged us about the other person. That is a battle each couple has to fight daily, and some days…years… we do better than others.

One thing that helped me during that season was to look at letters from when we were dating and remember what made me fall in love with him. I also wrote something I was thankful for about him once a day for a year. It wasn’t easy. I forgot to write some days and had to then come up with several to make up for lost days. I will also admit coming up with 365 things and not repeating them ended up being quite a challenge and I did end up repeating some without realizing it. However, the exercise really helped me start focusing on the good again. Did it change his attitude about me? Not at first. I first had to focus on myself and my attitude and who I could control. But in time and with lots of prayers our marriage got better.

I think an important thing to remember is that when we aren’t our spouse’s biggest fan, there may be someone around the corner who is willing to be. When we belittle our spouse we can be setting them up for harder to resist temptation. No, there is never a good excuse to cheat in our marriage … but we can help the temptation be a lot less. When your spouse feels loved and respected they are a lot less likely to need anyone else’s praise.

I don’t know about you, but when asked who his biggest fan is, I hope my face always pops into my husband’s mind. I also hope that whenever I talk about my husband to others they come away saying “Wow, she really digs her husband.” Let’s buck the trend of trash-talking one’s spouse and teach our kids to cheer on their spouse instead.

Finding Our Dirt

One of my kids’ chores is sweeping the floor. They do an okay job. Every year they get older they get better at doing it. I just started having my 7-year-old sweep. He is good at getting the main walkways …when I remind him. My 14-year-old has learned to move chairs and sweep along the edges of furniture. As great as she does, I still can go back and find more. I use a broom instead of a push mop like I allow them to use. I dust everywhere – including corners and on top of wooden furniture legs. Then you have my husband who is OCD when it comes to cleaning. He moves furniture and finds ALL the dirt.

While I was sweeping up a pile of dirt my son missed, it reminded me of when we search our hearts for areas in our lives we need to change for God. Oh, we find dirt. Dirt is always there, but we never find it all. With help from others we will find even more than we would have on our own – like me helping our kids. However, when our Father cleans our lives and we allow HIM to find the dirt, He finds it ALL. He shakes things up – looks in corners we don’t want to shine light in. He looks in places we don’t normally look – on purpose. Just like I see the dirt better while sweeping during the daytime, when God shines His light on our dirt, there is no missing it!

Other people may not see those spots we missed at a glance – just like I don’t see all the dirt my husband sees. However, just like how my son’s allergies and asthma are affected by dust he can’t see, when we don’t clean those spots, it affects other people even when they can’t see the cause. Sometimes even after our death, our dirt sticks around just like when we move to another house. We move on, and we leave other people to deal with the dirt we left behind.

Cleaning out our dirt isn’t fun. It is work and takes effort, but goodness isn’t a clean “floor” glorious and worth the effort?

“Search Me Oh God” is a wonderful, old hymn that I love the lyrics to:

Search me, O God,
And know my heart today;
Try me, O Savior,
Know my thoughts, I pray.
See if there be
Some wicked way in me;
Cleanse me from every sin
And set me free.

I praise Thee, Lord,
For cleansing me from sin;
Fulfill Thy Word,
And make me pure within.
Fill me with fire
Where once I burned with shame;
Grant my desire
To magnify Thy Name.

Lord, take my life,
And make it wholly Thine;
Fill my poor heart
With Thy great love divine.
Take all my will,
My passion, self and pride;

I now surrender, Lord
In me abide.

O Holy Ghost,
Revival comes from Thee;
Send a revival,
Start the work in me.
Thy Word declares
Thou wilt supply our need;
For blessings now,
O Lord, I humbly plead.

Following Jesus Even When We Are Afraid

I took this photo the other night. The verse is one I have been thinking about all week after reading it. I had never noticed it before. Jesus was going to Jerusalem for what he knew was the last time. His disciples knew how hated Jesus, and anyone who followed him, was in Jerusalem. Plus Jesus had been telling them things that would happen to him in the coming days they just weren’t listening. Jesus kept telling them He was the Messiah in one breath and that He was going to die in the next. They had always believed the Messiah was coming to save them from the Romans, so how could Jesus save them and die at the same time?

This verse says Jesus went before them to Jerusalem and they were amazed. Why would Jesus go to the city where they hated him and wanted to kill him? Yet still, they followed, even though they were afraid. Even when Jesus didn’t make sense, they followed. Even when Jesus confused them, they followed. When Jesus asked them to go somewhere where people hated them, they followed. Even though they were scared, they still followed.

It is important to note here he didn’t beg the disciples to go with him. Encourage them? Yes. Pleaded? No. He was going to Jerusalem with or without them. God’s will would be done no matter their choice. They could be a part, or they would be stepping away from Jesus and their convictions. They had had multiple times to turn away before this moment, but….this was a level up in scary. They knew things were really heating up with the Pharisees and Sadducees, and they might even be killed for association with the One they hated so much. Yes, later on, they DID run when the hard moment came. We may not always follow when we should, just like they didn’t when Jesus died on the cross, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start again. But at this moment they followed, and I think that is important.

What do I love most about this passage? What it says about my Savior.

“He went before them.”

Jesus may ask us to do scary things. Things that amaze us. Things we don’t want to do:
Witness to someone.
Take a new job.
Move to a new state.
Go back to school.
Teach our kids.
To go into ministry.
To foster a child.
To face chemo treatments
To minister to the less fortunate.
To take care of our aging parents.
To break up with someone we are dating who is not healthy for us.
Visit a dangerous country to share His love.

However, Jesus goes before us. Not only is He with us, but He is also a step ahead, helping us know where to go and what to do. Goodness, I love that. What a comforting image. Hebrews 13:5 – “….for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

Carrying Other People’s Rocks

I was grumpy and I was having trouble figuring out why. So bad that my husband had to confront me. I wasn’t my normal self. It took nothing to set me off, but try as I might I couldn’t figure out WHY. So I prayed. I begged God to show me a way to change and show me what was the root of my attitude. Just like he always does…and promises to do (if any man lacks wisdom..)…He showed me.

It all started with a story I read in the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World:

The story is told of a man who met God one day. God asked him to take a wagon with three stones to the top of the mountain. God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust. The man cheerfully set off pulling the wagon behind him.

As he was going through a small village, a friend stopped him and asked him what he was doing. He explained that he was taking the wagon of rocks to the top of the mountain. The friend became excited as he explained he was just thinking about how he was going to get his rock to the top of the mountain, and would the man be willing to take the rock in his wagon as well? Happily, the man with the wagon took the friend’s rock and started on his way.

As he went along, more and more people asked him to take their rocks with him until the wagon grew fuller and fuller. The wagon felt huge and awkward as it lumbered and swayed over the ruts in the road. No longer was the man singing praises. Instead, resentment began to build inside. Frustrated, the man was beginning to have visions of giving up and letting the wagon roll backward.

About that time God came to his side and asked what the problem was. “You gave me a job that is too hard for me,” the man sobbed. God walked over to the wagon. “What is this?” He held up a big piece of shale and tossed it on the ground. The man explained about his friend who asked him to bring it up the mountain. God continued to unload the wagon, removing both light and heavy items until only the three stones God had given him were left in the wagon.

“Let others shoulder their own belongings,” God said gently. “I know you were trying to help, but when you are weighed down with all these cares, you cannot do what I have asked of you. ” pages 51-52

The author then went on to tell a personal experience story about volunteering to organize a conference because it was something she was good at and they needed help. At the end of the conference, she was sitting back and praising herself for all her hard work, when God convicted her heart and impressed on her that HE hadn’t wanted her to do it. He had had someone else in mind, but because she filled the spot they couldn’t. After I read both stories I realized what the problem was. In fact, it was an “ah-ha” moment I will remember for the rest of my life. I had quit asking God what “rocks” should be “in my pack.” I had other’s rocks in my pack. Rocks I was no longer supposed to carry and were supposed to be someone else’s. I was clinging to some of the “rocks” because I was “good” at it. Some “rocks” I had been trying to take from other people that they didn’t want me to take. Also, I had rocks that people were trying to pressure me to take that I shouldn’t.

I know it is weird, but it was a life-changing switch of mindset for me. I started looking at things I was getting my feelings hurt about in a new light. So what if they didn’t ask for my help? That’s one less thing for me to do. I could just show up and enjoy. Right after God had me read the story about the rocks, He placed another metaphor in my life. I told the kids they had to clean up the dress-up things before they could get out more toys. I have a certain box it all fits in. It is small, but if you place things just right, it all fits. My eight-year-old just tried to throw it all in there. Not only did he not take the time to carefully place things how they should be, he even added good things like extra toys and a Bible, but things that didn’t belong in that box no matter how great he thought they were. God spoke to my heart and convicted me that I only have so much room in my life just like that box. If I put “things” in my “box” the way he tells me to, everything will fit well. However, if I try to cram things in my life that He says don’t belong, nothing will fit well.

When I now start to fret about decisions others are making, I take a step back from the drama and think, “this isn’t my rock to worry about” and I mentally set it down. Am I saying I’ve arrived and never try to steal others’ “rocks”? Nope. In fact, just this past week my husband called me out on trying to step in and take over something that wasn’t mine – and if I did pick up that “rock” I’d just end up mad at people for the situation not going the way I thought it should. I still am a work in progress in making sure what is in my life is exactly what God has for me. What has happened is I DO have fewer rocks than a couple of years ago and I also catch myself from picking up a wrong “rock” more quickly. My heart’s desire is now to make sure I am on the same page as God about what I put into my life. He is good to remind me when I start to pick up a rock that isn’t mine.

So how about you” Do you have any rocks in your pack weighing you down? Do you feel discouraged? Angry? Tired? Especially at the end of this year and such a busy month in life? May I encourage you to try these steps of accessing the rocks in your pack like I did.

Help! How do I homeschool AND keep my house clean: Part 2

Last week I left you off at tips on how to keep your house clean while trying to homeschool. Below are a few more tips and while they aren’t directly about cleaning a house, they are things that help my household run more smoothly and me stay on top of things better….which in turn helps me have more time to clean.

Make a Menu

I make out a monthly list for our suppers. I used to shop a month at a time and go for milk and bread again after 2 weeks in between my big shopping. I WISH Walmart pickup had been a thing when I had littles because I would have shopped more often. I still have a bigger shopping week once a month. I have set meals I keep stuff for in the pantry and I have a deep freezer. To help make my menu less stressful I have set meals on set days. I sometimes veer from the norm, but not often. It just saves time and brain cells.
Sundays are always: fried chicken, ham, roast, or ribs.

Monday I have more time so it is my more time-consuming meals: fried chicken, deer steak, pork chops, enchiladas, chicken pot pie and beans and cornbread.

Tuesday is my one wild card day. I sometimes try new things. I do chicken in all different kinds of ways often.

Wednesday is ALWAYS: muffins for breakfast, chicken quesadillas or sandwiches for lunch, and chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and frozen veggies for supper. I used to do breakfast burritos…but the girls cook the chicken better. I have to do SUPER simple to get to church on time since I teach piano all day and my sweet husband gives me grace this night.

Thursday: Used to always be hamburgers till I burned my family out on them.. Now it is either hamburgers, spaghetti, sloppy Joe’s, tacos, or breakfast. I need fast and simple since Thursday is normally my one day of the week to go to town. We prefer fresh hamburgers, so that is why Thursday is more “meals with hamburger”.

Friday: Pizza. Always pizza. I count it as my day off from cooking.

Saturday: I often make biscuits and gravy for breakfast so I don’t have to fix lunch.. (they tend to not eat lunch if I feed them big for breakfast). Often it is Mexican night like nachos or tacos. On Saturdays, I’m lazier or have pictures (like today) and don’t want a super involved meal. We do chili often in the winter and sometimes potato soup. Sometimes I do grilled hot dogs with potato salad and baked beans or chicken quesadillas in the summer.

I always keep ingredients on hand for “quick fix” meals on days that end up being super busy so we are not tempted to eat out. Meals like spaghetti, sloppy Joe’s, breakfast (omelets, sausage gravy, breakfast burritos, eggs and grits), tacos, chicken quesadillas, are my quick-fix meals. I even have a list of set meals when Daddy is gone of things we like to eat that he doesn’t care for like pancakes, Alfredo chicken, lasagna, meatloaf.

I also keep a shopping list on my fridge in the order of my favorite store to shop at with all the items I tend to buy. The fact that it is in the order of the store saves me time in not having to backtrack for things I forgot to get.

Only do errands once a week and don’t do a ton of extra activities.

I know this advice isn’t popular in our day and age, but when I was a new mom I read advice from author Elizabeth George that when she was feeling overwhelmed with two toddlers, her husband encouraged her to only leave the house for errands once a week. She said it was life-changing. She ended up with so much more time in her day. I have to agree. The days I have to leave the house I find that I lose a lot of my day. If I try to concise it all into one day it helps not only save time but gas as well. I make all our appointments, lessons, and shopping on one day if at all possible. We also don’t play sports or have a lot of extra activities we have to go to. Extra time means extra time to stay on top of the house. It also means less mess from going places.

Start School Early

Again, this is not a popular piece of advice, but this is what I do now so I have grace days for bad overwhelming times. We start school in July. Honestly, most people HATE that answer. They are not willing to give up their summer. I totally get that. However, my kids get so bored when it is so hot in July so I start back slow in July. The first week we just do math, and I add a subject a week after that. I also take them on field trips and count some days in the summer because we still learn even if it isn’t in a “book”. Not whole weeks mind you (I combine days for 4 hours worth of “school” to count a day) and we always complete our school books at the end of the year. We often get out at the beginning of April though and I love that since we are all so over school by then. I am also able to take off more days in December and get caught back up on housework that goes by the wayside and not get as stressed during the holidays.

Don’t do preschool.

Seriously. I may get a lot of backlash for this, but kids all catch up eventually. If your kid is not 5…don’t worry about bookwork. Especially with boys. I didn’t start either of my boys at all until they were 5. While they weren’t great on their colors, cutting skills, letters, numbers going into kindergarten, by the end of K5 they were fine. They are totally on point now…and they don’t hate school or fight me as bad as they would have had I started them early. My mother in law who had 12 kids taught me that. We went every week to Preschool Storyhour at the Library because sensory play and crafts stress me out and I always felt like such a bad mom for not doing it, but so far my kids are fine. I’ll let you know when they graduate if I was wrong.

Extra advice for a new baby:

– When it comes to schoolwork, do the basics with your kids and leave off the rest.
– Find a curriculum your child can do more independently so your kids can do more on their own.
– Give yourself a LOT of grace.
Babies are a season. Enjoy them. Often our mom guilt traps us into thinking we are harming our older kids if we don’t try to keep up the same level of school work and housework before a baby. The truth is those first 6 months one tends to be in survival mode, and that is okay. It isn’t good to STAY in survival mode, but a few months is totally fine. No one is ever damaged for life.

There you go! Those are all my best tips for how I keep our household running smoothly. That being said, the best way for you is whatever works best for YOU. My way isn’t the “right” way, but it is what works for me. As I have already shared, many of my ideas came from other ladies sharing with me. I still struggle and don’t have it all figured out, but I no longer feel helpless and overwhelmed. Hope if any of you are struggling these two articles help you too! I am just hoping that at least one or two of the ideas may help you in your own quest for keeping your household clean. I sure would LOVE to hear each of your ideas of ways that you keep your house clean and a well-oiled machine! I have not “arrived” and am always super open to new ideas that might help.

Help! How do I Keep the House Clean AND Homeschool?!?

How do you keep your house clean AND homeschool? It is THE question every homeschooling mother has. Though if truth be told any mother could ask the same question this way: How do I have kids AND a clean house? I know I have! In fact, it is confession time. I am a messy person. Not dirty, not unorganized, but very, very messy. I am messy and my husband is NOT. Do you know all those stories about having to pick up a guy’s laundry? I have never had to do that (though he has for me). Or how guys leave messes out everywhere? Nope. That isn’t my husband, that is me. My husband’s ideal house has zero knickknacks, little books, and is very modern. Yet he married me and had four kids. My husband has a highly stressful job and for him to remain sane, order is key. He doesn’t just like it. He doesn’t just want it. He physically needs it. And for years I didn’t get that. In fact, everywhere I looked for advice all they told me is my husband was the problem and he needed to let up. They said that something had to go to remain sane and that something always had to be the house. For years I believed them, however, I don’t anymore.

My husband wasn’t wrong in his desire for clean. I wasn’t wrong in my struggle. Neither one of us was wrong, just different. It took me way too long to figure out how to meet in the middle, so I thought I’d share my struggles and things I did to overcome our differences in hopes that it might save some of you with the same struggles some time. I have ten tips to share. I will share 5 this week and 5 next week.

I asked my husband to tell me his top 5 things that had to be done for his sanity.

I focused on those five things. For years I only kept the things clean that felt dirty to me. I thought as long as the dishes were washed, carpet vacuumed, the bed made, and laundry clean he should be happy because I was happy. I need my cabinets organized, but often leave things out so I can see to remember to do them. However, I was rowing the cleaning boat furiously, but never going anywhere. Those things didn’t bother him as they did me. Clean clothes meant little if he couldn’t find them. I never hung up my clothes. While I was anal about vacuuming the carpet, he preferred the floors swept and the table wiped. He could have cared less if the bed was made or if the cabinets were organized. Once I started focusing on his five things, life started getting a lot easier and it didn’t feel as overwhelming.

Focus on keeping two rooms clean at all times

When our children were toddlers my husband gave me grace about cleaning the whole house as long as our room and the living room were straightened. Even though our kids are older, I still always make sure those two rooms look nice….especially when he comes home. One way I keep our bedroom clean is our kids are not allowed to be in our room to play. We also have a playroom and this has really helped keep down the mess in the main two rooms of the house. All toys must be picked up out of the living room before daddy comes home. He doesn’t demand it or anything, but with them already having a playroom this is my rule.

Ask for a warning phone call

My husband always calls to let me know he is on his way home (his return time home varies every day with his job) and the 10 minutes it takes for him to get home gives me and the kids just enough time to pick up items in the main two rooms. It also lets me know to start dinner. Sometimes I even light a candle since I know smells make a house feel clean to him.

Do a room of laundry a day

For YEARS I struggled deeply with laundry. My mom is the laundry queen and I always tried to do it like her and miserably failed. She does laundry Monday and Thursday. She gathers all the laundry in the house and sorts all the clothes into piles of colors. She is great about IMMEDIATELY taking them out of the dryer and hanging them up. I am not. I was lucky if I remembered to change them out of the washer to the dryer…much less take them out of the dryer when it buzzed. My mother-in-law raised 12 kids and one day she taught me a system another lady had shown her that had helped keep her sane through the years. The key is doing one room a day. Monday I do our laundry and sheets and towels, Tuesday the girls do their laundry, Wednesday the boys do theirs, and Thursday is fold anything that didn’t get folded. Sometimes there is an extra load of stuff on Saturday of misc. things. The key is to do the whole room from start to finish that day. Now I will confess that often clothes do not get put away until the next day when the next group of people needs the dryer/ laundry basket. However, they no longer stay in baskets for DAYS. I taught my kids to fold and hang clothes from an early age. Some stuff we just threw in drawers since they messed them up anyhow when they went through them.

Teach your kids to do chores

I cannot stress enough how much this has helped me. Teach your kids things like being able to switch laundry over, to dust, how to fold washcloths, to wash dishes, how to make their bed, etc. It takes time on the front end but it has helped me SO much. I have a post from one year where I shared that we did Chore Boot Camp one summer. I cannot stress how much that has helped me. I had chore charts I made when my girls were 4 and 2. I made the chart on excel and drew the pictures since they couldn’t read. Then I pasted it to poster board and placed contact papered over it. They earned pennies for every check they got. Then they got to “buy” stuff out of the treasure box. Trinkets like small cheap toys, candy, coupons (going to grandma’s, a Coke, mommy playing a game), books. It taught them to save too for the bigger items. Bad behavior meant you had to pay me pennies. I will admit it took a little effort on my part. Any new chore system I do lasts around 6 months to a year. I change stuff all the time. I didn’t do the picture chart with the boys. I had a different system since the girls were older.

Next week I will share the last 5 tips, though these were the top 5. I used to feel like I was drowning. Trying to clean was like trying to build a sandcastle while the tide was coming in and seagulls were screaming and pooping on it. The house is my husband’s #1 priority. It wasn’t mine, but that didn’t mean he was wrong and I was right. It just meant we both had different needs. However, with time, advice from others, and SO much prayer God taught me some tricks to help BOTH of our sanity. I still struggle and don’t have it all figured out, but I no longer feel helpless and overwhelmed. Hope if any of you are struggling it helps you too!

One Person Can Make All the Difference

Jonathan in the Bible took on a whole entire army. Did you know that? We hear all the time about David and Goliath. Daniel and the Lion’s Den, but we never hear about the time Jonathan trusted God and fought with just his servant. (you can look up the incredible story in I Samuel 14)

What about Philip in the Bible? Most people can’t name him as an apostle. However, most know about the brave things Peter and Paul did … maybe even James and John…but Philip? Philip had a great work that was growing big and fast. He had a megachurch that was flourishing and God was really blessing. Right in the middle, God told Philip to do something that would make zero sense to us. He told him to leave….and go to the desert. No one is in the desert, right? Surely God couldn’t mean there. How can one minister in the dessert, especially when you are clearly needed elsewhere? But there was a need there, the Ethiopian. Not just any Ethiopian, but a minister to the Queen. God knew that he needed help and sent Philip. If God asked us to leave something prospering: a job…a ministry…family … would we do it? That Ethiopian had the potential of having a huge outreach for the gospel because of his position, but Philip didn’t know that. My mom once met a missionary who was a millionaire, and God called him to the mission field. Not only did God call him away from his current situation, He told him to go to one of the most dangerous places in the world – Egypt. My Mom said she had never met anyone who radiated such peace.

The school system can be very overwhelming. I have many teacher friends who get very discouraged. My husband was in the system for a while and tells me all the time – you can’t help them all, but you can help one… and one can make all the difference. The author, Dr. Kevin Leman, was one of those kids for his teacher. He was a cut-up and failure at school till one teacher called his bluff and believed in him. He changed his life because she took the time to believe in him and help him.

What if God called us to a ministry that for years looked like we had only reached one or two people? Would we count it as worth the cost? Pastor Chip Ingram tells the story about a layman who felt called to start a Bible study at a certain college. For about 4 years only a handful of 4 to 5 people came. The fifth year into hosting the study he decided that after that year he would move on to a new city. That year though the ministry exploded. At the beginning of that year a college student who was a struggling new Christian starting attending. That person was Chip. What if the layman had given up? Because he didn’t, Chip’s life was impacted and he went on to be in the ministry and has since touched thousands of lives…including my husband. One of his radio messages was a critical step in my husband turning his life around and Chip’s sermons have continued to impact our family. Even if that man never helped anyone but Chip, the dividends are off the charts. My little family may not reach as many as Chip has, but even if we don’t … even if we had been the only ones Chip had ever impacted … it was worth it in my opinion. It changed my family’s world.

If each of us at least reaches one person, it is worth it. While it may not feel like we accomplished anything by other’s measuring sticks, God’s measuring stick is totally different than the world’s and sadly sometimes even the church’s. There once was a missionary who spent his entire ministry in one country and only won one soul to Christ. Most of us – including Christians – would count that as a failure…until we think about the person who led us to Christ. What if we were the only person they ever led to the Lord? Would we count it worth it? If you gave your life for someone, wouldn’t you want others to tell them? What if you took a bullet for someone, but no one ever told them?

Sometimes we may not know the impact we are having. The pastor of my brother’s church had no clue on an ordinary, rainy, cold Sunday morning while preaching a sermon out of a book of the Bible he had been working through for over a year, that a family was visiting that was hurting greatly. The whole story is a long one, but God used him in a mighty way to change the course of my family’s life when we were deeply hurting. In fact, he preached a sermon on Philip. The Philip in the Bible I mentioned above. Because he (and Philip in the Bible) showed up and followed God’s command on his life and preached what God had shown him, the course of my family’s life was changed. He didn’t know it though. Philip also didn’t know that his story would still be changing lives centuries later. God works in light of eternity, not today.

By the way, we are never too old. Before Covid, a widow in our church went to the nursing home and prayed with people every week. She made a difference in their forgotten lives.

The next time we feel like we aren’t accomplishing anything and feel that we are wasting our time and energy at our job, ministry, or at home we should ask ourselves this:

1. What one person can I make a difference with today?
2. Who can I encourage or pray for?

With God one person can do the impossible. One person is worth everything to God.

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but I still can do something and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” Helen Keller

Wise words are they not?

• One person can make a difference
• One person is worth the sacrifice of ministry
• One person is worth telling