#mancrushmonday

Since I have been on social media I have seen women frequently post pictures of them and their man hash-tagging “#mancrushmonday”. While I am not a hash-tagger, I like the thought of crushing on our husbands. However, I think we can go a little further than just posting a picture of our man to show him off. Maybe we could actually show him, and not just the world, that we still have a crush on him.

Sometimes (well…a lot of the time) as a wife I forget to try to impress my husband. While we dated, I noticed his preferences and bent over backward to accommodate him. I noticed his favorite kind of gum, his favorite songs, and the clothes he appreciated me wearing.

Often, I delighted in serving him by cooking his favorite foods, making or buying him treats, and getting him drinks. Also, I searched for ways to spoil him by leaving him love notes, sending him packages, or by rubbing his back.

Regularly, I used to dress to impress him making sure I smelled nice and had clean shaven legs. If he liked an outfit, it became one I wore often. Granted, I didn’t have much fashion sense when we met, but he fell in love with me regardless. However, that doesn’t mean I should think, “Oh well, since he loved me then, I don’t have to try now.” Rather, it means I should try harder since I am not quite as mysterious as I once was. P.S. This also goes double for PJs.

Also, I used to write him love notes telling him how wonderful he was, and that I loved him.  Although, to be honest, these days I count it a success if I remember to tell him daily that I love him while looking him in the eye and kissing him over 5 seconds.

Consequently, these are the reasons why I have started guarding my Mondays and chose this day to focus on my husband.  With four kids, homeschooling, teaching piano, and photography, trying to do it every day sometimes is just too ambitious. So, I figured that I could at least give him one whole day a week though (to focus on him). Yes, I pay him attention other days other than Monday, it is just the day I go out of my way to be intentional.

Why Monday?
A. I have no piano lessons to teach that day.
B. No activities that we have to be at like violin, field trips, etc..
C.  It is my favorite day of the week, and it is the day I am the happiest.
D.  I have the most time that day.

So, I must be intentional about guarding my Mondays.  I’ve been asked to do a lot of things on Monday, but if it falls on that day my first response is normally “I’m sorry, no.” Ask anyone close to me, it takes a lot to get me to say yes to something on a Monday and it cannot be a reoccurring event.

I have figured out over the years that my husband’s love language is acts of service. So on Mondays I try to:

  1. Clean the house the best I do all week.
  2. Cook an involved meal that takes extra time. I don’t make tea often, but I do that day for him. The kids and I might even make a dessert if their daddy has had a hankering for something recently.
  3. Dress in a cute (sometimes sexy) outfit, do my hair and makeup, spritz on some smell good, and wear matching sexier underwear.
  4. Make sure the kids are dressed and clean, and make them pick up their toys.
  5. Wash his clothes and put them away.
  6. Light a candle to make the house smell nice, even though it sometimes gives me a headache. (He loves things to smell good)
  7. Throughout the day, I attempt to text him messages just to let him know I’m thinking about him.
  8. A long back rub that night taking the extra time to be intimate, and focusing on his needs. (and no I don’t just offer on Mondays)

Often in marriage, it’s so easy to lose sight of our mate and their needs. The whole point is just to be intentional about choosing and spoiling him. While we may not be able to afford to go out on a lot of dates, this is my way of showing him he is still important to me.

Can I encourage you to pick a day to spoil your mate? Choose whatever day best fits your schedule. Maybe your husband would regular note of encouragement or a small gift. Perhaps, he would like control of the remote, or to be able to watch the football game with no interruptions with his favorite snacks. Possibly, he might like to exercise together or work on a project as a couple. Do you know his love language? I encourage you to figure it out. He will love you for it!

18012854_1677939662217933_1569797825_oe2I challenge you this month to:

  1. Pick a day of the week to spoil your husband.
  2. Write down 3 things your husband will find special and do them on the day you pick.
  3. Dress nicer that day, spritz on some perfume, and shave those legs! 😉
  4. Cook something yummy for dinner, or at least pick up his favorite takeout.
  5. Tidy up the house, and make sure it smells pleasant.

 

What keeps your marriage thriving? I am always looking for new ideas!

How to Be Happy

Tansi (Aug) 2011 141e

Everyone wants to be happy, but few people are.

Today most people appear so unhappy, including Christians. It’s no wonder the world wants no part of what we have! Too many of us are setting our hearts on things other than God for our happiness. For instance, many of us look to possessions and money to make us happy (Mark 4:19). The Bible says, “If riches increase, set not your heart on them.” (Ps. 62:10) Others look to power, popularity, or fame for happiness, but all (including riches) only give momentary pleasure, not true happiness. Some try to put all their hopes for happiness in people: relationships, spouses, children, friends; however, people will always let us down because they are human and sinners just like us.

So, is there hope for true happiness? The thought inspired me to look up all the times the bible uses the word “happy.”

Happy is the man:

  1. Whom the Lord correcteth. Job. 5:17
  2. Who’s is full – a house full of children. Ps. 127:5
  3. Who fears the Lord and walks in his ways. Ps. 128:2
  4. Who’s God is the Lord. Ps. 144:15
  5. That finds wisdom. Prov. 3:13
  6. That retains wisdom. Prov. 3:18
  7. That has mercy on the poor. Prov. 14:21
  8. That feareth (the Lord) always. Prov. 28:14
  9. That is saved and washes other’s feet – a servant. John 13:17
  10. That endures – has patience like Job. James 5:11
  11. That suffers for righteousness sake. 1 Pet. 3:14
  12. That is reproached for the name of Christ. (for the spirit and glory of God rests upon you – and God was glorified.) I Pet. 4:14
  13. That is single. I Cor. 7:40
  14. That keeps the law. Prov. 29:18
  15. Who has God’s help and who’s hope is in the Lord. Ps. 146:5

All through Psalms the bible also refers to “being glad” in the Lord and the Lord making us “glad.” God is the key to our happiness, without Him happiness is continually elusive. Looking at the list above I find it ironic that the world’s understanding of happiness is totally opposite of God’s formula. The world’s backward view would tell us that:

  1. God loves us and would never correct or punish us.
  2. Children are a burden and you are crazy if you have more than two.
  3. Choose your own way in life.
  4. We don’t need God. We can be our own god and no one has the right to hurt our feelings and tell us that we
  5. Being wise is the same as being smart.
  6. If we study hard enough we will know everything.
  7. You can have it all and should have it all, others don’t matter as much as my happiness.
  8. God is our buddy whom we can bring down to our level.
  9. You should look out for yourself before all others and you have the right to trample whoever it takes in the process to get to the top.
  10. If it is hard, just quit.
  11. Suffering is punishment.
  12. Everyone should love you and make you feel good about yourself. Self Esteem is very important.
  13. If you don’t have “someone” then your worthless and something is wrong with you.
  14. The Bible is outdated and impossible to follow.
  15. Being a Christian and believing in God is stupid.

Until we focus on God, we will continue to be just like the world chasing things that only bring temporary pleasure.

The world understands the difference between their type of temporary happiness and true happiness. When they see true happiness in us, they can’t help but be drawn to it. We have the key to true happiness right at our fingertips, but many of us in our quest for happiness are like the seed in Jesus’s parable in Mathew 13:22. We hear God’s word but allow “the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches” to “choke the word”… aka we focus on ourselves instead of God’s voice and will. This makes us become like the seed and be “unfruitful.” Why? Because no one wants what we have; they already have it.

I find this so sad. Our goal in life shouldn’t be happiness, it should be following Christ and His word. When we do, then by default we will be happy. Some call it peace, some call it joy, some call it happiness…whatever you call it, it is the key for drawing the world into wanting a relationship with Christ.