Matching Underwear

To be perfectly honest I have debating about whether or not to write this post. I decided to though just in case there is someone out there who is like me 15 years ago. Before marriage, my underwear was very boring. Honestly, I never even thought about it before I got married. I had no one to be sexy for, so why did it matter? However, after marriage, I had friends who informed me that pretty underwear makes you feel better about yourself. They convinced me to buy my first pair of pretty panties. I fell in love and from then on, I have not worn boring underwear. I still wouldn’t have called the ones I bought that day ‘sexy,’ more like ‘cute.’

Fast-forward 10 years, four kids, a different body size, and a 30th birthday. I went to the mall while my mom was babysitting my children. On a whim, I decide to go into an underwear store. To be honest, it was to prove my friend wrong who had been on me the past three years about how I needed to go there because you just “couldn’t beat their underwear” and that “you can wear frumpy clothes but still feel sexy if your underwear matches and is sexy.” Blah, blah, blah. I had informed her I had been in the store before and she was crazy to spend that amount of money. I am a super cheap person and about had a heart attack… Such exorbitant prices for so little cloth! Talk about sticker shock.


No thank you!

However, this store was having a sale, and just to prove her wrong I went in. I tried on a bra, and to my dismay, I had to eat crow. I even called her and tried to get her to talk me out of buying the 5 bras and 10 pairs of matching panties I had in my hand. She tried, bless her, but I still went ahead and bought them for $190.00.


I had NEVER spent that much on underwear in my life. In fact, I had rarely spent that much money period. But, the sales lady kept on raving at what a great deal I was getting, and it was when you consider their normal prices. Meanwhile, I was standing numb from the sticker shock.

However, when I got back home and looked at all my matching pretty underwear, it made me happy, and I couldn’t wait to show my husband. I thought he would kill me for spending that amount, but he didn’t. That’s the nice thing about pretty underwear; they tend to make men very forgiving.

My friends were right; matching, pretty underwear does help me feel sexier for my husband. Women are mostly mental sexually, unlike men who are mainly visual. How we feel really affects our sexual relationship with our husbands. In marriage, it is very important for women to feel desirable, especially, after the spit up, snot, and numerous touches in the day of a mother who has a different body image than she did when first married. Matching underwear will not make the stretch marks go away or those extra pounds of baby weight disappear, but it does help brighten my mood.  We have the same body with or without the sexy underwear, I just believe it is important for us to feel pretty to ourselves and invest in those things.

My friend was also right about the quality. Over the years I have bought lots of underwear from several different stores, normally off the clearance rack. However, as much as I hated to admit it, the underwear I bought that day fit better. In fact, they still fit good AND look nice. I make sure I wash them in a separate, hand wash cycle which helps them last a lot longer. Am I saying you should only buy expensive underwear and that you are not a good wife if you don’t? No, of course not. I know all about tight budgets. What I am saying is that there was a difference and if you can save up your pennies that I thought it was worth the extra money.

How about you? Do you struggle with guilt over spending a lot of money on underwear? What do you do to help you feel sexy throughout the day?

Consider doing the following:

  1. Go through your underwear drawer. Throw out anything stained, has holes, or looks…yucky.
  2. Wear the sexiest pair of underwear you own today. Bonus points if it matches a bra or is daring.
  3. Spend $100 on new underwear. You deserve it… Your husband deserves it. I know, some of you are saying, I don’t have the money.” I bet your hubby FINDS money if you tell him what it’s for. It doesn’t have to be a whole $100 if you’re currently on a tight budget. Still, you could at least buy a new matching set of underwear, ask for money for your birthday, or maybe skip buying that latte for a few weeks till you save up.


To be honest I have been very nervous writing about this topic. I’ve been on both sides. My goal is not to make anyone feel uncomfortable or offend them. It’s just with all the distractions in life, marriage has a tendency to suffer. Something as simple as sexy underwear may be the spark needed to reignite the passion in your marriage. Give it a try!


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