I was a brat, there was no two ways about it. My husband was having shoulder surgery and things were quickly slipping from my control. Additionally, after a misunderstanding, I learned I wouldn’t get to sit with him in his pre-op room. Whereas one paper said yes and the other no, I had to sit out in the waiting room an extra hour and a half.
First, his surgery started late, and I even had to ask if it had started. The surgery lasted an hour longer than they said it would, making me very anxious. Finally, I waited over and hour to hear from post-op when everyone else in the waiting room was asked back after just 15 minutes.
I wish I could say I calmly handled that day, but I cannot. It’s a good thing “the force” isn’t real because Darth Vadar and his death glare would have had nothing on me that day. Also, I wish I could say I chose kindness, but I can’t. I really wish I could say I chose to trust God, but I didn’t.
My friend had a moto last year: Choose Joy. I knew I should choose joy the day of my husband’s surgery, but I was scared. My husband and anesthesia don’t jive well, and I also can’t stand when my he is in pain. My fear comes out in ugly, ugly anger. So instead of choosing joy, I pouted.
Fast forward 2 weeks when a missionary came to our church and helped us observe the Passover. While all of it was fascinating, the part that stuck out to me was how after the Passover the Jews always sing “Psalm 118.” He commented that Jesus observed the Passover (the Last Supper) right before his death. In the middle of Psalms 118 is the verse 24:
“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Jesus was singing about rejoicing on that day … which makes Him my hero. The day His friends betrayed him … the day they lied about Him… the day He was tortured … the day He died. I’m sure He feared the pain ahead, He was human after all, but despite that fact, He chose joy.
Today we go back to the doctor for my husband’s first check up since his surgery to have the stitches removed. I’m choosing to sing “This is the Day”; Not because there aren’t nerves, but because I want to be more like Jesus and chose joy even when I’m scared. This is the day I choose joy.
What type circumstances makes it harder for you to choose joy?