For 10 years after having children I never felt like I fit half the clothes in my closet. I was one of those nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant commercials. I literally had clothes that fit when I was just a few months pregnant and not showing (but too big for normal clothes), pregnant, clothes that were better while nursing, and then clothes for after the baby was weaned but before I was pregnant again. Having four babies in six years made my wardrobe always in a flux. Easter was my one time of the year I splurged on clothes so that I felt nice for one day. Crazy I know, but I didn’t want to buy any clothes because I didn’t know what my size would be the next month.
Then I turned 30. I had just had my last baby in August, and my birthday was in November. I thought I was doing pretty good with the fact I was turning 30 since I had no major crying fits or dark depression. Then I went to Cato’s with my friends and spent $290, and I had probably spent $290 TOTAL on clothes for myself in the past 10 years. Well…maybe I spent more than that…but not much more. I didn’t know what was the matter with me and chalked it up to being happy about it being my birthday. Then that January I stepped into Victoria Secret for the first time (no judging) and spent $190 at the Semi-Annual Sale. I don’t think I owned a matching pair of underwear before then as I had been in a nursing bra over half of the past 10 years anyhow, and had picked up cheap pretty underwear from TJ Max here and there.
I felt SO guilty spending that much money on myself, but I felt SO good in those clothes. What’s more, my husband didn’t flip out about the money. In fact, he loved my new clothes as he is far more a fashionista than I. My motto for years had been “As long as it is comfortable I don’t care what it looks like.” However, I learned you can look cute and attractive while being comfortable, and even better, it helps you feel like yourself again after having babies. My husband appreciated me dressing up so much, he now takes me every birthday on a spending spree for clothes and helps me pick out outfits we both like. I now own…. ehm…. several pairs of matching pretty underwear that help me feel more like a wife than a mom.
Does that mean I can’t have a frumpy day? No. We all have days we feel bad or are just tired, but that shouldn’t be every day. Yoga pants are the new sweat pants, and we think we can get away with wearing them since they are tighter. Guys do appreciate tight, but they also appreciate variety and a woman who spends time on her appearance. I notice when my husband looks good, and he notices when I look nice as well.
I can hear a lot of you now. “The kids will just cover it in snot by the time he gets home.” (I hear ya), or maybe you’re thinking, “If I get a shower I consider the day a success.” Also, “I’m barely surviving on such little sleep” (I get that too), or maybe you work all day and want out of your work clothes as soon as possible (I don’t blame you). However, I’m just saying maybe we could change into a nice (non-stained) shirt and cute jeans before he gets home, or stay in our nice clothes until he gets home to appreciate it (bonus: he can watch you change!). Even if you can’t change that snotty shirt, wearing pretty underwear underneath your clothes make you feel a lot more attractive than regular ones and gives him something to look forward to.
If we don’t try to catch our husband’s eye someone else will. If you have had a baby recently (or maybe not so recently) and don’t feel sexy in your clothes, go out and buy one outfit you both like and you feel I’m giving you permission to shop! good in, and add a matching pair of underwear. Seriously… Today. What woman doesn’t like permission to shop, and every woman needs a “date” outfit, unmarried or married.
Now, for those of you like me who are protesting that their pocketbook won’t allow it, I’m sure you can find an extra $50. Say no to a few more groceries, go fewer places for a week, pinch those pennies. I don’t have money in abundance either. We are on a strict budget. You don’t have to go to Victoria Secret… go to Walmart… or TJ Max if you need to, but the effort alone will mean a great deal to your man.
So, if you are willing, this is your assignment this month:
- Go through your closet and find an outfit that makes you feel cute. If you don’t have one, buy one.
- Wear something other than yoga pants one day this week.
- Wear or buy a sexy matching set of underwear.
- Comb your hair right before your husband gets home.
- Put on your favorite piece of makeup – mine is mascara. Bonus points for doing up your whole face.
- Spritz on some smell good, it helps cover up the not so nice smells of the day (i.e. spit up/breastmilk smell or grease smell clinging to your clothes after cooking.) 😉 We are attracted to things that smell nice, why wouldn’t our husbands be? I know mine is.
So, what about you? How do you attempt to look nice? Do you splurge on yourself? How do you splurge on your marriage?